If you are a football obsessive, then you’re probably really missing your football at the moment. There is very, very little football going on across the globe at the moment thanks to COVID-19, so if you’re accustomed to devouring everything about the world’s most popular sport (except in the USA, where they are just plain weird) and spending time at your favourite online bookmaker, you’re probably at a loss for something to do.
You could, of course, watch classic clips of past football matches, but watching football when you already know the result is hardly any kind of long-term solution. You could visit that favourite online bookmaker we’ve just mentioned and bet on virtual football, but it’s hard to get as thrilled about ‘F.C. Manchester’ v ‘F.C. Milan’ as it is to get excited about the UEFA Champions League final.
Here at NewCasinos.org, we feel your pain, as most of us are big football fans ourselves, and we are turning to music in order to help relieve our ‘no football’ pangs. You may have seen elsewhere that we have put together a playlist of the Top 20 Songs about Gambling – well, we have now come up with a list of what we think are the best football-related songs ever committed to vinyl … or whatever format you may prefer your music to be delivered to you in!
 ‘We Have a Dream’ – Scotland World Cup Squad (1982)
It seems crazy now, but football teams used to release a song every time a major final or tournament came around … and they were all usually absolutely terrible. Scotland’s 1978 effort – “Ally’s Tartan Army” – was notably awful with its claim that Scotland, despite being rubbish, would win the World Cup.
All that was forgiven four years later with ‘We Have A Dream.” Penned by Glaswegian B. A. Robertson, the song had a unique narrative in which a supporter experienced a dream in which he found himself playing for Scotland in the World Cup final, and scoring the winning penalty. Despite a much-improved chart hit (it reached number five in the UK top twenty), Scotland was knocked out of the 1982 tournament at the Group Stage after drawing with the Soviet Union.
 ‘Anfield Rap (Red Machine in Full Effect)’ – Liverpool (1988)
In the 1970s and 1980s, no English FA Cup final would go by without at least one of the finalists releasing a cringeworthy-tune. Usually, these were traditional pop songs with the squad of players signing a choral chorus, but the all-conquering Liverpool since in 1988 did something different – a parody hip-hop song penned by songsmiths Paul Gainford, Derek B and Mary Byker along with Liverpool midfielder Craig Johnston.
All the Liverpool squad featured on the song, and in particular John Aldridge, Steve McMahon and Gary Ablett. It was released before the 1988 FA Cup final, in which Liverpool was thoroughly expected to beat unfancied Wimbledon and complete the league and cup double. Wimbledon unexpectedly triumphed though, winning 1-0 thanks to a Lawrie Sanchez goal and a Dave Beasant penalty save from Aldridge.
 ‘Vindaloo’ – Fat Less (1998)
Most definitely the most brain-dead song on this list, this ditty became a football anthem despite seemingly having very little to do with football aside from the refrain ‘We’re going to score one more than you. England!”, and that it was released in time for the 1998 World Cup.
The song – which was written by Blur bass player Alex James, comic actor Keith Allen and artist Damien Hirst, became more noted for its video, which was a parody of The Verve’s much-lauded video for their hit ‘Bittersweet Symphony’. In the video, a Richard Ashcroft (The Verve’s lead singer) lookalike walks down the street bumping into people (as in the Bittersweet Symphony video) but is soon joined by a vast crowd of people, including David Walliams, Matt Lucas, Rowland Rivron, Paul Kaye and Ed Tudor-Pole.
 ‘World in Motion’ – England New Order (1990)
World in Motion was a musical surprise in many ways. First, for fans of New Order, it was, for a group noted for gloomy and serious songs, the most uplifting musical track they’d ever produced. For fans of football squad songs (if such a thing existed) this was definitely the most tuneful football squad song ever released.
Most of the squad made a ‘group’ appearance on the song but it was winger John Barnes who stole the limelight with his rap after the second chorus. The lyrics were co-written by comedy actor (again) Keith Allen, who later revealed that his original version, called ‘E is for England’ was vetoed by the FA who feared the song would be thought to have a connection with the party drug ecstasy.
 ‘Three Lions’ – Baddiel & Skinner & The Lightning Singers
Three Lions in a record holder in so many ways. First of all, it’s certainly the record chart-topper of all time with the worst vocal performance – ‘sung’ by comedians Frank Skinner and David Baddiel who were the presenters of the immensely popular football comedy show ‘Fantasy Football League’.
The song was originally released in 1996 and was released with slightly altered lyrics in 1998 and again in 2010. In was also re-released in 2002, 2006 and 2018. For the latter release, it reached the number one spot in the UK pop charts for the fourth time than set another, unwanted record in that by being top of the charts one week, and then at 97 the week after it set the record for the fastest ever descent from the number one spot in history.
Bubbling under: ‘We’re On The Ball’ -- Ant & Dec (2002); ‘Hot Shot Tottenham’ – Chas & Dave (1987); ‘Ossie’s Dream (Spurs Are on Their Way to Wembley)’ – Tottenham Hotspur FC (1981); ‘Back Home’ – England National Team (1970); “Come on you Reds” – Manchester United (1994).